Special Retards

Here are some of the more special retards in our work place. We will add more as time goes by and more people reach Special Retard status. Names have been altered to protect of the ID’s of the authors not the retards, hahaha.

The Butch - This is one condescending and manipulative retard. If you are on the Butches favorite list you are treated like it’s best friends, otherwise you are treated like an outsider. The Butch is the gang leader of the special retards.

The Hyena – This is one of the most fake people we know. Like a daughter, lesbian lover and right hand man to the butch, The Hyena always aims to please The Butch. The Butch on the other hand seems lost when the Hyena is not in the workplace. The Hyena is always smiling and laughing because thats the way The Butch wants The Hyena to act.

The Fat Hobbit – The Fat Hobbit used to just a normal person until it decided it wanted to be part of The Butches gang. The Fat Hobbit alienated all her formed friends to do this. The Fat Hobbit is a two faced retard that will lie to your face and talk shit about when you are not around. The funny this abut The Fat Hobbit is that it thinks it is well endowed. What it can’t see is that it is just a fat retard, heh.

The Bitch – The Bitch is in a management position and is higher in the companies organization but quivers like a little bitch at The Butches feet. The Bitch will listen to The Butch and sometimes The Fat Hobbit without questioning their motives and bully employees around. The Bitch is very insecure and bullies people to show people its authority. We have lost some good people because of The Bitches bullying tactics.

The Godfather – The Godfather is the only person The Butch will quiver too. We are not sure what The Godfather has up its sleeves but it must be one powerful card. The Godfather hardly speaks but when it does, it usually to say something mean and put people down.

The Devil – The Devil seems to be a bipolar retard. You can walk by The Devil in the hall and notice that they are cheery and happy and then only moments later The Devil can look like they just got hit by a truck and having a very hard day. The Devil is a worrywart, they cannot let anything go and always needs to be in the loop NO MATTER WHAT. The Devil doesn’t care about anyones feelings and speaks its mind, whether is it offensive or not. The Devil is one mean and irritating retard.